Raw Food Radiance and Weight Loss Journal
Going it on my own again, naturally. grin

Sunday 060507 I danced up a storm before bed.. and now my neck, upper back are telling me about it. I have a little headache. I am up ten whole pounds from just a few days of cooked comfort food on top of almost a full week of higher fat raw food with salt, shoyu and Bragg's, so I know most of it is water.. and without salt, I will drop it. It might take a couple weigh ins to really show, though. I made a great salad with red pepper, tomato, red cabbage and avocado - dressed with a little balsamic vinegar and salt. It was so delicious. I will taper off the salt, I am guesssing. I am not quite ready to drop it. - Not feeling good at all, headache sent me to bed.
Calories: 1749 @ 18% fat, 30 min walk, 45 min boogie

Monday 060508 I am feeling better today. Made a coconut water, pineapple and kale smoothie. Still want to sleep, but that might be as much the dentist appointment I have tomorrow as fatigue. I am finding that the most profound relief from the tooth problem comes when I drink chlorophyl. The taste is very grassy, and it makes my tongue and teeth green until I brush them. Having green teeth makes me laugh. So, in addition to fresh wheatgrass juice, I got some wheatgrass tablets and will have that a few times a day and see if that helps even more. I am getting the message that greens and more greens are the optimum way to eat for healing and health. : I had some cooked food for dinner... interesting effect - nothing. I could have just as easily had the same experience and stayed raw. I sure will next time the panic sets in and the idea of cooked comes up. I kinda figured out that the feelings will come and go and food does nothing more than fill my belly. Nothing more. It does it's job and that is all.
30 min walk, 30 min walk, 60 min dancing

Tuesday 060509 Oh joy! A dentist appointment and I got my period. grin It could be worse.. it could be raining!! Lots of watermelon and some cooked food. Not a fun day, but I have a great new dentist!
20 min walk, 60 min boogie, some shoulder weights work

Wednesday 060510 Rough night. I am thinking that now might be an excellent time for liquids.. green smoothies and green juices. Chewing alarms everything. I slept well, and it is a beautiful day. I read, rested and got an amazing massage. I will begin the green drinks tomorrow. I wanted to avoid having a detox headache during the massage. I can face that tomorrow, if it comes.
20 min walk

Thursday 060511 I am back down two pounds. Mostly raw, some cooked food.
60 minute dancing, 30 min walk

Friday 060512 I had to rest today. The ramifications of cooked food eating has had it's effects on me. I am still puffy faced, feeling not so great and my digestion has slowed down... not fun at all. I got a wonderful package in the mail yesterday that helped pull me into the light again today.. dream earrings made by a rawbie artist, who happens to also be a friend. You can go to her site and see her other gorgeous work if you click HERE! Meanwhile, I decided that puffy face or no, now that my hair is beginning to look more as I intended and less like a little boy's, I could hazzard some new pics.. Very tough for me to look at but perhaps your eyes won't go to the Shar Pei puppy puff... sigh. The earrings are so lovely, I have worn them two days in a row. The dangle at the end of the longer one says 'dream' on it.. perfect for me right now! I am absolutely back 100% raw today. I hiked to the store and got a bunch of for-sure favorites. That always helps.
And my sister Marilyn made her TV debut today on 'Good Morning Arizona'. You can see a picture of her with the host from the show on her website. She is kicking off her tour to introduce her newest CD. She has been making her own transformation, and did two weeks solid of 100% raw very recently. Marilyn's Site! - (you can even hear free clips from the CD - big band jazz)
Calories: 1120 @ 49% fat
50 min dancing,30 minute walk, 30 minutes weights


Saturday 060513 I am down another pound today, that makes only ten more of the regained pounds to go. NO problem, now that I am raw again. I slept so deeply. I also spent quite a bit of time reading about Natural Hygiene. This is a school of thought about all aspects of health and healing that include raw foods. Very interesting to me that many long time raw fooders are Hygienists. They look rather thin to my eyes, most of them, but that could be just my cooked food point of view talking. --- I cannot exactly calculate my calories today, as I had Pizazz plus cracker, a few of the lemon cookies and a couple cups of veggies and grain from the raw food bar at Whole Foods. But, I will guesstimate to the best of my ability. Something is bubbling up about my transformation... it feels like urgency.. and inner drive pushing me. I want more and I want it now. I see that I am willing to work for it, but the vision is just beginning to come into focus.
Calorie: 2576 @ 64% fat
30 minute walk, 45 minute dancing

Sunday 060514 I am down another 3 pounds today.
In reading the Professional Dreamer I got some things to think about. And with all the psychic and emotional churning from yesterday, after dancing, and crying like a baby at the end of the Phantom of the Opera DVD... well, I was wide open as I lay down to sleep. My 50th birthday is just 7 months away. I feel this strong urgency to move on this transformation. Seven months of low fat, high green raw will make a huge change in me. I am keeping a clear vision of me at my birthday, tight skinned, glowing with health - in new clothes.. because I don't have anything that will fit that smaller body right now. I can see the new after photos.. longer hair, smaller body - gorgeous smile. Oyaz!! The teeth, the body, a whole mess of new art work, tons of dolls repainted, a very old situation resolved! Now, that combines to the best birthday present ever. All the old stuff cleared away and me ready, willing and open to my new life.
Calories: 1126 @ 11% fat
30 minute walk, 50 minute boogie

Monday 060515 Another visit to the dentist - for icky stuff. Great dentist, though and I am excited about the smile makeover I will be getting. First the maintenance and upkeep, then the purty stuff. I am wiped out, will sleep. Day two back 100% raw... of that I am very pleased. Later: Well, after some sleep, I found that I had energy to lift and dance. Even with teeth stuff going on, I am on target. Cool!
Calories: 1809 @ 22% fat
20 minutes weights upper body, 40 minute dancing

Tuesday 060516 Yay, I am back down to 266, another three pounds of water gone! I feel terrific, too. I can see the difference in my pic from today as opposed to just 4 days ago. So much of that water bloat and puffiness - gone, gone, gone!! I am beginning to up my water consumption starting today - I shall see how plenty of water feels in a raw body.
Calories: 1875 @ 20% fat
30 minute walk, 20 minute walk, 35 min dancing
64 oz water


Wednesday 060517 I am down another pound today... 265. I am delighted to be free of all that water. I feel so much better. I am drinking a big green kale smoothie. ~ I wanted fats today... later, after the really deep massage that worked the fascia, I had them. My body dealt with them, but I admit I am not sure if fats are for me right now, even the very best ones.. shrug I am going to just keep going and see.
Calories: 2339 @ 39% fat
30 min walk
64 oz water


Thursday 060518 The massage yesterday loosened something deep, my entire backside, hip and thighs feel loose and so much softer.
Calories: 1847 @ 51% fAT
30 min walk
124 oz water

Friday 060519 I am down to 263 today... boy do I feel the loosening in the tissue. I love how that feels. Big, long, haunting dream. In a foreign but familiar land - trying to get home with too much stuff, credit card denied - cannot think, no time. Well!! I do sometimes have bad dreams when I am dropping weight and detoxing hard. I did some yoga stretching last night before bed, it loosened some more areas. I am skin brushing everyday again. Overall I feel fantastic. Green smoothie daily, lots more water have helped a lot.
Calories: 1821 @ 18% fat
30 min walk, 20 min walk, 60 min boogie
124 oz water

Saturday 060520 I am resting today. My body is sore all over.
Calories: 2821 @ 44% fat
30 min walk
64 oz water

Sunday 060521 Day ten back 100% raw - another very quiet day. Lots of eating good raw food, some strong cravings. I have begun to wear the custom designed anklet as a bracelet and I love it. It was made by the same raw jewelry maker as the earrings above.. And it has a watermelon on it. grin
Calories: 2747 @46% fat
30 min walk, 45 min dancing
64 oz water


Monday 060522 Dental appointment again today... not so great news. This process of revitalizing my smile may be a bit more complicated than originally thought. Blech!!I want to go eat macaroni and cheese. I want chicken soup. I want pudding. Soft, smooth, easy to eat stuff. I want to comfort myself so badly with food. I am still numb, so that is out. My tongue feels like a spongy cucumber. Ah, well, perfect time for smoothies, when I get hungry. ~ Well, it turns out that drugs on raw are a whole new experience. The dentist gave me Tylenol with codeine and it made me sleep for hours.
Calories: 375 @ 5% fat
30 min walk, 30 min walk
30 oz water

Tuesday 060523 I am down on the scale another couple pounds to 261 lbs. I slept and slept and slept. The drug really made me drowsy alright. grin It must have been a healing sleep because I feel a little foggy, but really fine. Teeth feel fine, too. I am amazed at how fast my teeth bounce back from being messed with. Gotta be the excellent nutrition. Going with the flow of this mouth makeover as I am doing this transformation is a bit of a challenge mentally. I keep thinking I should control this, direct it, not allow it to direct or control me. When I do surrender to it, though, it seems to go more smoothly, more comfortably and faster. ~ I got my EFT DVDs and have done several rather profound sessions already. Releasing weight is as nothing compared to releasing old guilt, pain and punishing expectations.
Calories: 2714 @ 29% faT
30 min walk
30 oz water

Wednesday 060524 Slept hard, I think I am detoxing the little bit of pain meds I took. Even with everything, I have released another 4 pounds this week - and that was with eating avocados and nuts. I had some cooked food for dinner.
30 min walk
60 oz water

Thursday 060525 I had cooked food again for dinner... shrug "Bees that way sometimes", as my mom used to say. Not a tasty treat, which will make tomorrow going raw again much easier and more fun. But I did manage the water and workouts. grin
50 min dance, 30 min walk, 15 min walk
150 oz water

Friday 060526 One of the benefits of keeping this online journal is that I can backtrack and check my dates.. It has been almost two months since my last liver flush... so I think doing a liver flush today is a great idea. This wilI be my 17th flush. I always get benefits, even if I don't see stones.. and most of the time I have seen stones.
40 min boogie, 20 min walk
120 oz water

Saturday 060527 Feeling just a little frumpy I went to the Whole Foods store to stock up on watermelon, get cherries, and celery and greens for smoothies... and the man who added up my total gave me a compliment on my nails. He was straight - I asked. So, you guys do notice that stuff after all. I thought I was just doing it for my own pleasure. Here is a new pic of the 'really nice nails'. I smiled all the way home.

It is great to see more reasonable priced peaches, grapes and cherries in the store finally. I know it is almost June, but one can never really tell in SF what month it is... not even by the prices of the summer fruit. Mentally I am raring to go, calm, peaceful and happy... such are the bennies of the liver flush!
30 minute walk, 20 minute walk

Sunday 060528 I am still taking Oxypowder... and upping it to 4 capsules tonight. Helps with moving the cooked food, but mostly it is a great bowel cleanse.
45 minute dance, 20 minute walk

Monday 060529 Five caps of Oxypowder. More cooked food adventures.
60 minnutes dancing, 30 min walk.

Tuesday 060530 Six caps Oxypowder.
30 min walk, 30 min walk, 30 min walk, 20 min walk

Wednesday 060531 Well, playing around with cooked food has lost it's appeal and I am delightedly back to raw... starting with watermelon. I am up some 13 pounds of water/salt and fat.. and I honestly am not at all upset. I really had to let myself rediscover the effects and lack of satisfaction in cooked food for me. I will continue with the bowel cleanse for a couple more days at least -6 caps today.
30 minute walk

Thursday 060601 I am back down to 269 lbs today - that is 5 pounds dropped in one day. Wow. I was not totally raw yesterday, but obviously enough to make a difference. I am even more raw today, that is for sure. Watermelon!!! And am still doing the Oxypowder cleanse.. 7 capsules tonight.
30 min walk, 30 min walk, 45 min dance

Friday 060602 Still not 100% raw today, but the urge is gaining strength. My sister is visiting. I showed her how I climb the hills. grin Still on the Oxypowder cleanse
30 min walk, 30 min walk

Saturday 060603 Oxypowder cleanse - and lots of fun.
60 min walk


Sunday 060604 Oxypowder cleanse
120 min walk

Monday 060605 Oxypowder cleanse
30 min walk, 30 min walk, 15 min walk, 60 min boogie

After dancing - feeling great and it shows on my face.

Tuesday 060606 I'm ba-ack!! LOL Bowel cleanse is done, I am drinking some rejuvelac and have dropped the cooked food. Simple raw, regular workouts with lots of water is what it is all about. I knew I would return to this with no struggle. Feels great.
30 min walk

Wednesday 060607 Well, almost no struggle.. I am raw, that is for sure, but every cooked food on TV sounds and looks way good to me.. And I am vulnerable to my own thoughts.... sigh I am still cleaning out, vivid horrible dreams of sharks hunting me on land and sea. I keep reminding myself this will lift soon... hang on, Ellen!! Meanwhile, I am ready to let my real hair color surface again.... I colored my hair yesterday and it will be the last time. ~ Had some cooked food tonight... lots of rumbling in my tummy that I thought was emotions was digestion adjusting to raw again... Ah, well, live, eat and learn.
30 min wak, 35 min dancing

Thursday 060608 Raw and cooked today... finishing up the Oxypowder cleanse.. I did not finish the full 7 days when I got to my level. I am back to the art work - that always pleases me.
30 min walk, 20 min walk

Friday 060609 I am doing the 18th liver flush tonight. And it is the last day of the Oxypowder cleanse for real. I bought colonblow for three one day treatments in the next month.
20 min walk

Saturday 060610 I passed a couple hundred stones.. none large, but so many of them even on this flush!! And the euphoria was amazing!! ~ I had gotten a bit worried about my unwillingness to go back 100 % raw this last week.. somehow I trusted that if I allowed myself to have what I thought I wanted in the way of cooked food on top of the raw stuff that I would lead myself painlessly back to raw.. and I am... I ate a whole watermelon today and it was the best tasting thing I have had in days. And a dear friend asked me what I was reaching for with all this cleansing and that helped me get my focus back really strongly - I am so grateful for my friends.
20min walk, 40 min boogie

Sunday 060611 Oh, I love it when the energy moves me, rather than me trying to move the energy. I am segueing back to raw... bananas, blueberries and another huge watermelon.
20 min walk, 20 min walk, 20 min walk, 30 min boogie

Monday 060612 Watermelon to begin the day! And pineapple with a celery chaser to end it... yup, watermelon and pineapple.. that is all I ate.. of course it was a 22 lb watermelon.. grin Delish!!
30 min walk, 30 min walk, 20 min walk

Tuesday 060613 Totally off track raw food wise today as a result of teeth woes - I began the lightening process and that gave me some nagging discomfort which resulted in me not want to eat cold stuff.. I wanted soft, warm cooked food... well, I thought I did. I want to make excuses, forgive and continue to eat cooked food... part of me wants that, the other part, the stronger part wants my feeling good on raw food me back - NOW! It is very easy to tell myself to do it tomorrow, very easy to rationalize and justify the cooked food and the resulting blue moods, fatigue and overwhemling emotional feelings. I don't remember quitting smoking being this insidious. I don't remember wavering about that at all.. so, I surmise I have lost focus on my why. I will go do EFT about it and listen to my Cd of visualizing me in my ideal, healthy body.
40 min walk, 25 min dance
90 oz water

Wednesday 060614 ~ Between a fantastic massage and a great talk with my sister, I got to release and let go of all the tension... and the shoulds. I am clear and happy again.. ready to get back to raw on Friday. So much of this inner turmoil was about the conflict between my initial motivation, my why - and what happened within me when joining camp. I have finally let go of the deprivation attitude and am back to me, my whys, my what-this-is-all-about, with my eager, open attitude of discovery. I am grateful for having done camp, don't get me wrong.. but I see that for me this is a path of discovery not of discipline. I am a fiercely independent individual: forgiveness, patience and compassion work much faster to create the life I want than any other protocal. I am celebrating who I am and my life as it is - going raw, healing and getting stronger are additions.. extra blessings. I always perform better when tempted by a carrot rather then threatened with a stick... I know this about myself and getting clear about what I am reaching for (Thanks again, Jan) has helped me get clear and steady and calm again. The extra complications of the teeth adventures just made it a bit more complicated and take longer to unravel. I am so happy tonight! Building success upon success works the best for me over and over!
30 min walk, 20 min dance
90 oz water

Thursday 060615 I overdid in my enthusiasm last night... strained my right hip. So, I did less today, went to the movies... And I am now ready to be raw again. I am doing ETP for any lingering doubts and concerns.
15 min walk, 15 min walk, 15 min walk

Friday 060616 Lots more watermelon, blueberries... delish. Along with some cooked food. A great astrological forcast for me... "Any discouraging signs you've been seeing lately shouldn't get you down -- the road you're on has quite a few twists and turns, and you need to be ready to take them as they come. Things are way better than you think right now, so what's with this cloud of gloom and doom? Flush it out with a healthy dose of good humor and you can get back on track with a brighter attitude. You are much closer to your goal than you realize, so keep on going."
20 min walk, 40 min dance

Saturday 060617 I spent most of last night and a lot of today reading about fungus and mold free wheatgrass and also about what turned out to be the Primal Diet ... both very interesting and exciting subjects for me. I love stories of healing, courageous people who are willing to claim their own power and risk themselves in figuring out how to eat, live and thrive. Primal is a raw diet that includes raw eggs, butter, meat, fish and poultry as well as some veggies. It seems to be working for quite a number of people, including the author - for some 30 years. I have his book coming from Amazon.com and will see how much it resonates with me. I confess that raw fats appeal to me, and have since I began raw last fall. I adore avocados, and can happily eat raw coconut oil by the spoonful. Since doing the low fat vegan raw, I have been increasingly restless and impatient and focused on weight loss.. the scale. I intuit that I am shifting somehow, I am not quite clear how, but perhaps simply back to the original way of doing raw where I began - Alissa Cohen's advice to allow ourselves to eat whatever I desire - as long as it is raw. To see how my body deals with it now - not fresh off a Master Cleanse as I further investigate the Primal Diet concepts and eat the mold free wheatgrass I have coming as well. I have a bunch of favorite recipes from Alissa's book that I love already. Might be a time to let loose with raw for now... even try some of the raw foods that the Primal Diet says are good... see how they work for me.
30 min walk, 45 min boogie!
Lots of water


Sunday 060618 I tried raw milk, raw butter, lots of cherries and some cooked Indian food today along with plenty of probiotics, some walking and lots more reading on the net about the Primal Diet and it's creator. I confess I shudder to think of eating raw beef or the fertilized eggs I bought today, but might brace myself and try them both tomorrow. I always loved egg nog. And I prefer my steaks bloody. I certainly noticed how much happier my whole body was when I had an avocado after cherries yesterday, and the raw butter after cherries today. Plain raw butter tastes really good... and gets better tasting as you chew/melt it in your mouth. Raw milk is good stuff, too. Big parts of me are balking at this entire train of thought, though. I do think that if you are going to eat meats, then raw is best.. cooked meats cause all kinds of trouble in the body.. that I know from info and my own experience. However, the healing and long term benefits of doing Ann Wigmore's greens way of eating, or becoming a total fruititarian... well, they are undeniable. I do not see a lot of before and after pictures of radiant raw meat eaters on the net. I confess, I care about that a lot. I spent many years following the teachings of Macrobiotics based on words... and when I saw a bunch of Macro people in photos I viscerally knew there was something incomplete about it. As with Macro, I have a funny feeling about the Primal Diet.. but I am giving myself time to discover the truth for myself. I certainly found myself mainlining fats the first time I went all raw. ~ I also re-read the Oxypowder site - for research to help a sister, and found that one side effect to doing Oxypowder could be intermittant joint pain... and that might explain the hip pain I had. They say that the pain will pass when those toxins are released from the body. ~ I went to Dr. Douglas N Graham's site and found some wonderful large photos of him, a 27 year raw vegan. I love the energy in his face, body and writing. I can see me getting back to low fat raw with him as inspiration.. and not just a a protocol for healing, but as a way to live.
30 min walk

Monday 060619 Greater clarity today... going 'whole hog', low fat raw again tonight! And I am so excited to do it.
45 min walk

Tuesday 060620 The cherries are delicious now. And the blueberries. They ran out of watermelons at one store, I will be sure to grab a big one tomorrow when I go to the other store. Reading about Dr. Douglas N Graham's long term success as a rawbie, seeing his energy in his photos and that he embodies what long term rawbies can look like and live like has galvanized me. I feel clear, bright and so focused mentally and emotionally. I read about how the Hunzas lived really long lives on 10% fat - but being a visual person, I needed to see Dr. Graham's pictures to really allow myself to trust what my body and mind have been telling me for a long time... low fat raw is the way for me to thrive and live! I am so grateful for the inspiration and information from these raw people: Alissa Cohen, Victoria Boutenko, Carlene Jones and Dr. Graham
6 c cherries, 4 c blueberries, mango, 7 bananas, 2 tomatoes
30 min walk, 50 min dance
90 oz water

Wednesday 060621 Day 2 back in the saddle begins with my period arriving.. no wonder I am retaining so much water.. it is very late. And I have been having lots of salt.. so. Shrug Ah, well, this will settle itself in no time on low fat, salt free raw, so I am okay with my weigh in. Next weigh in may well be very interesting. ~ Either they were not really ripe, or I don't like fresh figs... too many Fig Newton memories clouding the experience might be the problem, too! I got Aajonus Vanderplanitz's first book We Want To Live today - fast shipping, and I am reading it. Fascinating in such a good way.
2737 calories @ 9% fat
green smoothie: 2 c pineapple, 1.5 c coconut water, 2 stalks celery, banana, 2 c collard, 3 T unheated honey, squeeze lime juice
16 c watermelon, 4 fresh figs, pear, 8 bananas, 3 c cherries, 1 t coconut oil
30 min walk
60 oz water

Thursday 060622 Okay, I am deep into Aajonus' book and a bit overwhelmed with my own questions. I also took a first look at David Wolfe's Eating For Beauty book - gorgeous photos and just a quick look got me all excited. Plus I got Teresa Tapp's book.. watched the included DVD and got excited about beginning T-Tapp again.. even if I have to limp through it!! ~ I only just did Fitday for yesterday and I was perfect! I wish I had done that this morning, I know I would have relaxed and continued with all raw. Ah, well, live and learn. I am back on raw now, for certain. ~ A great workout dancing today.
3231 calories @ 48%fat - 6 bananas, 3 c cherries, 3 t raw organic coconut oil, 14 tablets Pines wheatgrass, 1 T honey, some cooked food
20 min walk, 20 min walk, 45 min boogie
75 oz perrier, 60 oz water

Friday 060623 I am going to do the colonblow tomorrow, at least that is the plan. So, juice tomorrow for a full 24 hours. ~ In getting ready to do my yoga DVD, I pulled a muscle in my lower back getting the chair out of the closet. I think I am stressed out a bit.. going to have to baby myself and get back raw.
2 c blueberries, 4 c watermelon, cooked food
20 min walk, 20 min walk, 20 min walk
175 oz perrier

Saturday 060624 The injury is not as bad as I feared. I can walk, slowly, very slowly. I feel much more normal once I get moving. I am not raw again, yet. This is when I most want to hide, go out of sight, gather my energies and then reappear all raw, clear and moving in my chosen direction. I don't want to share the confusing times, but something in me said this might help someone else - someone like me later, perhaps, who is wending her or his way on the raw vegan road and stumbles - maybe even over and over and does not know that they can get back to it.. It might help to see when I have years rather than months under my belt that I slipped and slid my way to health and more centeredness on my path and still made it. Most important is that I cannot hide this from myself, even if I hid from your view.. and I am finding that claiming what I am going through helps it pass faster and make it less uncomfortable. ~~ I got to see Minna Hobbi's appearence on Oprah once more tonight and her energy still shines through the screen. I bought the latest People mag with Kirstie Alley on the cover having melted some 70 pounds as well as the latest Looking Good Magazine with those success stories to remind me that even injured, feeling overwhelmed, unable to move well, and having gained some weight - that this is just another phase of the transformation. I hope that I am gathering steam, getting ready to get back to what I know and feel is the right and proper thing for me to be eating. I am reading the Eating For Beauty book for more inspiration, as well. So, I will eat the watermelon, make a smoothie later with the ripe pears, collards and bananas and rest my back. I sure don't feel good, but I know that this is good.

Sunday 060625 Healing some more. Did some stretching, a bit more walking. I am so grateful for how fast this is healing, I can almost move normally, although bending in certain ways still hurts... I will continue to take it easy, eat my wheatgrass and play with my Wellbox... grin I regained my sense of humor, always a good sign to me.
20 min walk

Monday 060626 Some raw, some cooked. Lots of thinking - pondering the new info, my own experiences, my ideals, goals and ascertaining my real desires. And lot of sleeping... I do some of my best thinking then.
25 min walk, 45 min walk

Tuesday 060627 Lots of raw, some cooked. Finishing up Aajonus's book... I recognize some vital truths in it that I cannot ignore. I suspect that Alissa's idea of going raw - 'as much of anything raw as you desire' is the soundest way to transition. I have an intuition that allowing that will lead each of us to our most ideal balance of nutrients over time as the body clears out and get healthier. I love reading onliny that many rawbies find their way to low fat raw naturally. I also know that many people of the planet have thrived with little and no vegetation to eat regularly. I found that my desires were almost totally focused on avocados and greens (cilantro, basil) for the first 45 days.. and that my desire for sweets evaporated with no struggle when I allowed myself unlimited high quality raw food. Right now, I am jonesing for white sugar.. and I am beginning to think that my body was telling me for some time that it needed more fat... more avocados to accomplish the detox that the raw food unleashed. Aajonus contends that avocados are the most beneficial for detoxing raw fat there is... I think that my body knew better than I did. This process for me is as much about learning to totally trust my body and learn it's language as anything else.. so, I am considering what I shall do next. I have no attraction to raw meat - I do like shashimi. I seem to feel a deep attraction to avocados and raw coconut oil (YUM!!) along with the sugar. I am going to continue thinking and see if a plan manifests itself. I have struggled vainly to get back low fat raw for long enough. My body does not want to do it. I am going to trust that and see if I can up the amount of raw with some of my older favorite recipes, and self-permission to go hog wild with avos and nuts if I feel like it for a while... and see. I know I am in good hands. Plus, Perrier is wonderful stuff.
20min walk, 20 min stretching

Wednesday 060628 I injured my back in July 2001 much more seriously than this time, and I suspect I need some aligning done for my spine, so I have found a chiropractor and will get treatments for a bit. My massage today felt fabulous, but I see I need more. Meanwhile, today I had lots of raw food, some cooked and I am almost ready to go all raw again... I checked out my Fitday from earlier and a half an avocado is a perfect amount to eat along with plenty of fruit and greens - and keeps my fats low enough to melt off some more bodyfat... I am seeing a plan beginning to manifest. This makes me smile.
20 min stretching, 35 min walk


Thursday 060629 Feeling better with the added raw fat, that is for sure. Even still eating some cooked, I notice the difference. I finished Aajonus's book and some of it is staying with me.. there is some very real truth in the healing strength of all raw foods. I am not longer afraid of bugs, viruses, bacteria, etc... I feel a great deal safer and more confident just from that. I really like that. I got another quart of raw milk and had no problem drinking the whole thing, it felt and still feels great in my body. Raw truly rawks. That much is so crystal clear to me.
45 min walk, 45 min dance

Friday 060630 Hours of walking around town with friends. Delicious cooked food, not enough water, and it was big fun.

Saturday 060701 Resting up from Friday's outing. Some cooked food, lots of raw.
20 min walk, 20 min walk

Sunday 060702 Another high raw day and that feels better already. I did have raw milk and raw cream, along with lots of fruit. I have been applying raw coconut oil to my face.. my skin is great!
30 min walk, 30 min dance

Monday 060703 High raw again. I made two egg nogs with raw eggs and raw milk and raw honey... they feel fantastic in my body. I feel really wonderful, and I look it, too. I am doing a bit more research online... This is a really interesting link that I am considering.
30 min walk, 15 min dance

Tuesday 060704 I would love to say that the raw milk, raw butter, raw cream and raw eggs agree with me, but the truth is that I don't like how I feel. I do feel strong and mentally focused - but I also feel phlegmy, thick and very heavy. And no matter how difficult it was to adjust to low far vegan raw - I felt good physically every step of the way. It is possible that the raw vegan diet is the most efficient detox diet around, and that reason alone is plenty to put me back on it for now.
30 min walk

Wednesday 060705 Up again on the scale - no surprise with what I have been eating.
40 minute walk, 30 min walk, 50 min dance

Thursday 060706 Still vascilating.. I keep starting out with good intentions and then surrendering to cravings for cooked. I am still high raw, just not 100%.
30 min walk


Friday 060707 Circumstances helped me to just eat what I had in the house.. and it made for a huge, delicious green smoothie to start and then blueberries, bananas... so, whether I am ready or not.. I am back raw.
45 min walk

Saturday 060708 Wow, just a day of all raw and my spirits lifted so high! And I got all excited and had pizza... after a really long high raw day. Hmmm.... close, but no cigar, as they say.
40 min walk, 25 min walk

Sunday 060709 Lots of thinking going on, rereading of my own blogs... I went and got supplies to do liver flush #19 tonight and will be going into a Master Cleanse in the morning.
30 min walk

My Seventh Master Cleanse Journal
I feel the urge to do another Master Cleanse so I begin tomorrow 7/10/06 after doing liver flush #19 tonight. I will journal my journey to a 'pink tongue' here daily as long as it takes. I really don't know how many days I will do - so, I will say 21 days and see how it goes. When I complete the cleanse I will return to eating 100% simple raw.

Sunday night- Day Minus 1: Going to get apple juice, grapefruit juice, lemons, maple syrup and fleur de sel really felt right to me. It was almost a year ago I did a long MC. And I am eager to be clear of eating for awhile. Epsom salts still taste nasty.

Monday - Day 1: Liver Flush #19 was very successful and my body is already thanking me. I had six lemonades... then went and got some cooked food... shrug Sometimes I feel like a cleanse, sometimes I don't... and I guess this is one of the latter times. I shall see how I feel about going on with it. Lemonades in the second half of the day...
30 min walk, 30 min walk

Tuesday - 060711: More food and more lemonades.. not a normal MC, this time..
30 min walk, 30 min walk, 30 min dance

Wednesday - 060712: More lemonades and more food... shrug
My horoscope today - I really like this one - " Whatever you've been searching for -- time, love, adventure -- will arrive soon. What would you do if you weren't afraid? Ask yourself that question in all kinds of situations, from the mundane to the sublime. You might just start identifying your true desires -- and acting on them.Today you start to sense that a healthy feeling of fulfillment has been missing from your life. You've been admirably shifting your energies around to many different people, career prospects or self-improvement options, and this fluidity has kept you busy enough to distract you from what you're missing. But today, you see something you want -- and wonder what you have to do to get it. The answer will arrive soon, in a very obvious (and attractive) package."
Later ~ Okay, I confess this is so totally NOT a Master Cleanse. However, I am so relaxed and comfortable - enjoying my food again, enjoying the lemonades, no pains or aches in the body - not stressing about it much at all, that I will most likely continue a while like this.
30 min walk

Thursday - 060713: One good day yesterday and now, today I ache and feel like an antique all over. Blech!! Still blessing each bite of food, enjoyed popcorn at the movies. However, energy is flagging, digestion is wobbly and I do not feel either good or strong. I did get quite a few things done today. That pleases me.
30 min walk

Friday - 060714: Lemonades and regular food. All of it was good. "We can do anything we want to do if we stick with it long enough." Helen Keller
30 min walk, 40 min walk

Saturday - 060715: I am calming down more and more each day, relaxing into just being human and doing less internal yelling about what I should and should not be eating. As a result, I am having more raw food and less cooked along with lemonades. Well, I have all these lemons! I can feel the change in my body already. So much of what I was/am still struggling with about being raw is the difference in all of me. I expected health benefits. I expected and got major health benefits. And I enjoyed the much higher levels of energy. What I did not expect was to not recognise myself and not know how to constantly feel, think and be 'on' all the time. I see that I used food a lot to muffle all the thinking, feeling, internal arguing and conflicting desires that I have normally. I am not stupid, I have used this eating technique for over 40 years... because it works. It works well. The challenge I am meeting now is to allow myself - my self - to change and be different. Sounds great when this idea goes hand in hand with slimness, health and high energy.. until you live in that slimmer, healthier, higher energy body and actually have to cope with all the stuff that comes up constantly. I know that it has taken me all this time since leaving camp to calm the f*** down. I feel calm now, finally. I do not think I had a quiet day since August last year. The good news is that I am that much healthier and more conscious. The bad news is that I kinda freaked out a bit. I needed and still need oblivion that I can call on or do when I need it. I have computer games, I have movies, CDs, books, I can walk, I can talk with sisters both blood and cyber, I have hobbies and interests, but the big question is how to shut up the monkey mind that just prattles and prattles and worries things to death. How do I give myself a vacation from me??
I can see that this means learning and incorporating new skills and enduring new sensations... and I am not talking about returning to smoking or any tips and tricks I learn in a book. grin I mean ways for me to cope with the overwhelming thoughts, feelings, urges and desires that make so much noise in my head, demand so much of my attention. I think learning to live as a rawbie for me is going to prove to be a lot like learning a new computer game; the first couple times you play it is it overwhelming and super exciting. After a few rounds, you calm down, know what is coming, can focus on all the vital bits and begin to really play and eventually play well enough to win. I suspect the reason it takes so long for so many people to go and stay raw is that they come up against this huge shift in how they actually live... how they function daily... and need to step back, draw in, see how they used to feel on cooked food again and then when it registers the price they pay on cooked, go forward once more into raw. Each retrun to raw is less overwhelming. Perhaps this will be my path for awhile as I continue going raw. I certainly know deep down that nothing will keep me cooked for very long.. I simply do not like how it feels anymore no matter how it tastes or how familiar it is. Letting go of the calm - venturing out into the energetic me is going to be more and more comfortable as I do it - however many times I need to do it. I have been holding my own hand a lot these last weeks, coaxing myself along, reassuring myself that a little cooked food wasn't going to kill me, that I can trust my actual experience and choose consciously. And that my ultimate long term choice will be real, raw food. I just need to be patient during this rather bumpy adjustment period.


Sunday - 060716: Still muttering to myself about this... and gathering yet more unpleasant feedback from the body, mind and heart about eating cooked.. sigh

Monday 060717: I don't want to and no one can make me!! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna!! I want to eat cooked food and I am gonna.

Tuesday - 060718: I am totally fed up with my own denial, inner and outer whining and justifying! Bottom line is I feel like crap right now.. on raw I simply feel much better than this. I choose to feel better.

Wednesday - 060719: Well, after a few days good pouting and eating of cooked food I am ready to be high raw again... not only ready, but willing and doing it - for today at least. One cup of coffee and everything else raw... it is a beginning. Lots of new good stuff is happening otherwise as well. And watermelon is so darned delicious!! The only thing better are blueberries. grin Lots of lemonades in the second half of thd day - along with the first Colonblow dose. Two more tomorrow. Oh, boy!!

Thursday - 060720: Betwixt and between, doing teeth stuff... Colonblow for the first half of today... not my favorite experience. I prefer Oxypowder.
45 min walk, 40 min walk, 20 min walk

Friday 060721 I feel a bit overwhelmed today.. Colonblow was a rough ride for me. I prefer the Oxypowder experience. I am done with psyllium colon cleanses for good, now. I am going to the store to get bunches of fresh fruit and veg. I feel pretty bad today. ~ Walking a lot helped, as did lots and lots of water. ~ I was tempted to wipe this site from existance, but I re-read a bit and realised that this site and my process is about regaining health, going raw and all that that entails. It is not just about how much weight I have lost. So, I will keep journaling as I go back to raw, at whatever speed. I had guacamole today, as well as some organic celery, nectarines, blueberries.. They were all so delicious. I have cucumbers, more blueberries and cherries as well as some more of those nectarines for tomorrow. One day at a time, I am feeling my way.
30 min walk, 70 min walk

Saturday 060722 It is time for another liver flush... this will be number 20 for me. ~ Nope, did not do it, ate a bunch of wheatgrass tablets, bunches of water, watermelon, then cooked food. Shrug Lots of sweating in this heat.
45 min walk

Sunday 060723 Well, if I cannot make great strides with food, I can declutter my place.. so it is clean out the closet, give away what no longer serves, rearrange and is it ever a powerful tool for clarity. Decluttering is sweaty work, too.

Monday 060724 Today I rested. Had to do so, I managed to give myself a headache. Which is of course a reflection of the food I have been eating, but is also a reflection of the hard time I have been giving myself. I ate more lightly than recently, plenty of fruit in the morning. And getting off my own case - albeit slowly - is leading to a deep relaxation inside. A loosening of the tyranical absolute attitude - and a welcoming back of the real me, embracing the me that is... that will never again (TG!!) be twenty, thirty or even forty. I know I will heal, I know I will allow myself that, along with leanness, strength and flexibility, but I am not going to whip myself with the idea of tight young skin, or healing without scars. I will focus on the very reason I began this journey - my health. As such, I cannot keep feeding myself cooked food, or making myself do every cleanse that crosses my path. I can focus on getting back raw, continuing to walk regularly, and dancing regularly again - without the movement that was straining my back. I can focus on getting in plenty of water, rest and doing my art work and allow the healing to progress at it's own pace in it's wisdom. The biggest of the small steps is to get back raw... I so miss how great I felt eating only raw food. I want the strong, supple knees, the deep, restful sleep, the bright energy without caffeine, the clarity of mind and in my body. Besides, it is summer fruit season... a perfect time to do this. No end, no challenge to see how long I can last, no rush to lower the fat percentage right away - just trusting that my bottom line is that I miss all the benefits... including the ease in the potty department... I am getting them back beginning tonight.
30 min walk, 30 min walk, 20 min dance

Tuesday 060725 A day of increased clarity. I ate a lot more raw food.
15 min walk, 30 min walk, 20 min walk

Wednesday 060726
More clarity, more raw food and liver flush #20 is happening...
15 min walk, 30 min walk

Thursday 060727 I think liver flushing is one of the biggest and best things a human can do for their health. I am so glad I did another last night. I passed more stones and feel wonderful today. ~ RawGosia wrote this on Raw Food Talk today and I loved it so much I am quoting her here... this reflects what I am feeling and thinking about my own journey to health and raw food today. "
In my view, all experience is good, and there is no need to get upset about anything. There is no need to put oneself down or restrict oneself in any way. Let yourself free to experience whatever your spirit wants. Let yourself experience feeling bad after eating cooked and then perhaps decide that you may prefer being raw, without any judgement.
The most helpful realization of my life was this: Only if the choice is truly YOURS (rather than coming from the point of feeling gulity when you do not do what you are expected to do) then your path will be EFFORTLESS. Realizing this has helped me so much in my journey, not only in the sense of my diet, but in a larger sense.
When I once decided to become a Christian, I used to beat up myself for not being good enough. After several years of ups and downs, and deep unhappiness, I finally decided that enough is enough. I decided that I was going to discover what I wanted to be, not what I was supposed to be. I decided to reject all the rules and instead, observe the world and how I felt, and make my decisions based on that. Several months after my decision, I found myself in a state of bliss! Moreover, I was behaving in a way that once, as a Christian, I thought I should, effortlessly! How on earth did that happen? I realized that once I let my spirit free it went where it wanted to go, without me having to do anything at all, apart from intensely observing the world and my thoughts and feelings.
There is no need to put a human in a cage of rules to follow, no matter how perfect or right they might seem. A human has the ability to arrive at the place of perfect harmony as long as he/she is fully aware.
The raw food diet is no exception here. There is no need to try to be raw, there is no need to try to avoid eating cooked, there is no need to try to follow any system of rules. As long as one intensely observes one's body, a spontaneous transition in the right direction will occur."


Friday 060728 I am observing and my body prefers raw...simple as that. Over and over I see it.
40 min walk, 20 min walk

Saturday 060729 Every little movement is getting harder.. I am becoming reluctant to move from my comfy chair. This is new, and adds to my discomfort. Interesting how the food feeds into the sitting still and the sitting still feeds into the food.
20 min walk, 15 min walk

Sunday 060730 I love the weather, but not even the cool of this city is helping me enjoy climbing hills right now. I get winded really fast. It took so little time to get out of shape again.. and feel this bad. ~ I am reading "Raw Secrets" by Frederic Patenaude as well as "Eating For Beauty" by David Wolfe. Trusting my inner process, noticing every reaction of my body to the foods I feed it combined with a lot of talking it out with my sisters has helped me see that it is okay for me to keep going the way I am going, and okay for me to get back raw. Both paths are equally good and I do get to choose. Have been choosing all along, and now it can be more conscious and less driven by other peoples goals, ideas of why I should get there and more about my goals and why I want to live there. When I began this it was about health, plain functionality... and now it has boiled back down to that. I do not want to live feeling like this all the time; tired, heavy, foggy headed, fatigued, craving, focused on eating, overeating and being uncomfortable... I much prefer how I feel on raw foods - energetic, upbeat, clear, capable, focused and satisfied with the food I am eating. It is the exact feedback I got from my body in November and December of 2004 - raw foods good... cooked foods not so good. So, I am raw again.. because it is just the truth of my body's wisdom. And I danced to celebrate the choice.
30 min walk, 20 min dance

Monday 060731 Major detox going on, whether I am ready of not, it is time to go back raw. My body has had enough. I spent the whole day in bed. I ate a banana, some cherries, and nectarines.

Tuesday 060801 Still detoxing - headache, fever, cramps, nausea... gee, what fun. Cherries. ~ Finally figured out - when the headache lifted a bit and I could think, that this was digestive... so I have done the prep for the 21st liver flush... namely two doses of epsom salts with lots of water and apple juice... I will be finishing the flush but already I feel a hundred percent better. Whatever i was detoxing was holding on in my gut.. not anymore. I will have plenty of Jarro-dophilus when I get up. What sweet relief!! I am going to take it very easy with food for the next few days.

Wednesday 060802 I am almost back to myself today. The war is over... I am returning to raw tonight. I know when I am licked. grin
40 min dancing, 20 min walk

Thursday 060803 Not that anyone ever told me making changes was going to be easy... and today it is not. LOL Thoughts of different food are floating in my mind... Ah, well, one day at a time. ~Or maybe a half a day at a time.. not raw today.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." Aristotle


Friday 060804 I dunno if I am coming or going at this point... grin But I don't look half bad for all this sturm und drang.


"The spirit of raw is willing...."



Sunday 1/14/07 - Today began with a half hour of dancing and sweating... a terrific start. I did have plenty of fresh fruit yesterday. And it has taken months for me to recenter myself and anchor my reasons for being raw. I am reading Dr. Graham's book The 80/10/10 diet... but slowly and mostly just as a reminder to myself of how great it feels doing raw this way - and how simple it is.

Thursday 1/18/07 This mouth makeover has helped me see that the lynch pin of my health is what I eat.. I will explain when the pain has lifted more. Meanwhile, I am going to take a bunch of wheatgrass tablets with a bunch of water tonight, read more Doug Graham and simply go 80/10/10 raw beginning when I awaken. I am grateful for the pain, once again my body has awakened me to what I can and need to do.

Friday 1/19/07 Lots of bananas. And lots of sleep, and pain meds. Later I had rehydrated wheatgrass tablets, 2 delicious tomatoes and the 1 avocado that was still good. I cannot tell if I feel better, but I certainly feel no worse. It is very cool to read in Doug's book why when I did low fat raw I felt so fantastic.

Saturday 1/20/07 The bloat is gone!!! I have been peeing a lot, and I can feel the bones in my hands again. I look better, too... Bananas and some apples. I have been able to cut down the pain meds, so I am healing. - But, I want pizza now, and donuts, bad! Update: I had spaghetti and a piece of banana bread.

Sunday 1/21/07 Okay, I get it! I get it!! I eat raw and my pain diminishes. I eat cooked and the pain increases and so I have to take more meds. I surrender. I am raw again because I get it. - And then there are the digestive woes as a result of jerking myself around.. sigh. I am learning inspite of myself. I bought a bunch more bananas, cherries and papaya today and had some cooked. I realize I need to have plenty of raw food available for myself, too. I did not eat enough these past few days raw, and I bet that contributed to the cravings.

Monday 1/22/07 Papaya, cherries and some cooked dinner. Pain is diminishing. Overall I am feeling better. Not lots of energy to spare, but healing is the first priority. ~ Reading Dr. Graham's book is very valuable time spent. I am going to take it a bit easier on myself now, as I know raw is for me and I will allow myself to transition as I make my way through the end of this mouth makeover. Meanwhile, as much raw as I can handle daily with the rest cooked, moving toward more and more raw. A big anxiety is relaxed as I state this out loud. I see that I am serious and there is no rush, but there are lingering issues that the increasing health of raw will help me handle.



Tuesday 1/23/07 More raw than cooked today... shrug. Smiling through the pain, and coping best I can. The other jar of wheatgrass tablets are made with something that tastes nasty when soaked... so I tossed the whole jar and ordered more from the Pines... love their stuff. Still pointed in the right direction, reading the 80/10/10 book... and hanging on.

Wednesday 1/24/07 Not quite enough sleep after sleeping a LOT yesterday. I am reading and applying Jeremy Likeness's 'Courage to be Fit' PDF free from Jon Benson's M-Power site. Some things to consider and a decision to be made, that much is clear to me now.

Thursday 1/25/07 I slept 14 hours, good for the teeth healing, although I am very much still dosing myself with OTC analgesics along with some magnesium supplements. I am doing household chores as well as catching up on the PDF's and MB3s I have downloaded for the last YEAR!! And there is some fabulous eye opening stuff in there! One thing Jon Benson said- he and his college buddies timed people going from the grocery store, loading their groceries and driving away... slim and normal weighted people took an average a minute... heavy people took easily three times as long... and in an instant I thought of how long it takes me now to climb a hill, walk a block or get dressed, compared to only a few months and a chunk of pounds ago and I see why I am feeling listless, fatigued and bored and having a heck of a time coping with all this mouth pain. My life is a struggle with this extra weight, the simplest things take a long time and I am deeply angry that I am losing that time and using precious energy that way... when I could do some much more exciting stuff with both of those things!! No wonder I want to sit and veg in front of the TV. No wonder I am exhausted by mid afternoon. Life is a drag carrying this weight around!! No wonder I got all excited and eager in the spring when I had gotten so much lighter!! Life had gotten easier!
~Later~ Okay, I gotta talk turkey here: I have been in take-a-pill-every-four-hours pain for 15 days now... and for three days before that I had a flair up of TMJ for the first time, which drove me to take aspirin twice. I have been going through this mouth makeover since May, and I am no slouch when it comes to coping with pain but this has good and kicked my ass with it's different levels, intensities, variations and recurrences of aching and pain. The time needed to heal enough to function feels huge, and if I was not freelance I would have used up all my sick time and personal days in the last nine months. I want to go raw, but chewing is a horror right now, as my temporary crowns don't feel stable enough to withstand even apple skins and I am terrified of breaking them because one did break within an hour of being made and cause me a night of extreme discomfort until it could be repaired. So, I have been taking pain meds both prescription and OTC along with extra magnesium. The results are that I am moody, crave sweets (that only hurt my teeth more), feel stuck with soft cooked food, have a sluggish colon from these pills and I want this all to end so badly!! I get very excited with relief in between pain, I plan, hope and begin things only to lose all focus again. Then there is the loss of fitness from being virtually bedridden for a couple weeks. And I whine... a lot to myself and to my sisters and here... . This pain in the head and all it's attendant stuff is the reason I stopped being raw back in May when the mouth makeover began.
~Later~ Bellyaching sometimes is a magical thing - I made a huge banana, spinach and lettuce smoothie and drank it. Now I am going to dance and rev my engine. I am not taking this lying down any more! And I am not waiting for my wheatgrass to arrive either!! I can change this and I am choosing to right now.
~Later still~ That feels so much better! Clear thinking, clear action!! I did a half hour boogie and got all sweaty, showered and dried my hair.. ta-da!! I am me again. Lots more raw food tomorrow!


Friday 1/26/07 AWRIGHT!! I am still coping with the teeth that got me up in the night, but the mental clarity is much better, and I have energy and purpose today. I am going to go get more fruit and greens.
~Later~ A thirty minute walk carrying heavy fruit home over the hills, I was glowing! I got more greens, pineappple, cucumber, an avocado and bananas for smoothies, blueberries for treats, and some fuji apples for careful eating. * I will post when I am 100% raw again, meanwhile I am keeping the focus on how raw I am, so mentions of cooked food will not appear here. *
~Later~ I made a wicked good spinach smoothie - 2 ripe bananas, 5 oz raw spinach, a few chunks of raw pineapple, 1/4 a medium avocado and some room temperature water - a now welcome benefit of the Vita mix - I like the slight warming effect.. my teeth thank me! And it cleans up soooo easily. grin Got in another ten minutes of dancing before bed... just for the circulation!

Saturday 1/27/07 Oh, I slept short and not well, feel weak and weepy today. I shall take it easy - short fifteen minute walk for supplies. Teeth are being pesty, I am adding another OTC analgesic to the array, and more magnesium. This is the way it goes though as I rebuild stamina and wind... I feel great and so push the envelope and then the next day I feel like a dishrag. Which means I should feel a lot stronger again tomorrow. I am going to watch a movie, read more of Jon's blog and rest. I know I will come back even stronger soon. Bananas for breakfast is a very good thing.

Tuesday 1/30/07 I have done lots of research online. I discovered that pentothenic acid aka B5, is a natural analgesic. I began taking it Sunday night in addition to the analgesics. I have felt better since, less distress and less pain. I also received my Pines wheatgrass tablets Monday night and take several servings each day now and that is also helping. I am walking more, dancing again and made myself a big green smoothie today. I have also cleared out all my spices, salt and teas to new homes. I kept the cayenne, it is great for emergencies as well as the Master Cleanse.


Wednesday 1/31/07 I'm grinning like a fool. I am ready to go whole hog 100% low fat raw... and it is the eve of a new month! I love it! I had not planned this, but walking home from the grocery with the heavy fruit I could feel my body telling me - Go Raw, already!!! Just do it!! I bought bananas, a small watermelon and some oranges... I am in earnest. I am doing it. I am not giving up cooked food, but becoming a raw food eater... grin

Thursday 2/1/07 Well, the attitude and mind are going in the right direction, but the body is lagging behind. Oranges make my mouth go alive with fire... sigh. Bananas are a close second, and even my favorite watermelon disturbs the status quo enough to have my mouth throbbing for over an hour. All I want after that is mashed potatoes, pudding and pasta... soft, warm, no chewing!!! I will satisfy myself with this level of raw for the duration... and keep the daily doses of wheatgrass. Meanwhile, I can make another smoothie - the ONE thing that did not distress my mouth yesterday. It will be only a matter of weeks, if all goes well. I can hang on until then and afterward as the teeth settle in with the new crowns, etc.... patience will serve me well here.

Monday 2/5/07 I am struggling with this, not giving in, not giving up, and the mouth is slowly healing, slowly adapting and healing. I am doing some very vivid visualisation.

Tuesday 2/6/07 My why has found me at last. I was searching, and it found me instead. Crap nutrition turns into teeth pain for me; it is as simple as that. I have tried to go raw with this mouth situation, tried repeatedly and have had lots of initial alarm even with things as easy as bananas... but nothing compares to eating cooked food, even regular cooked food and having horrible, does-not-answer-even-to-the-aspirin-or-Tylenol-I-am-taking-now kinda pain in the not hurt teeth!!! I recognized this today as a reaction to nutrition. I had factored in the initial reactions to excess carbs, even simple carbs like sugar with it's moodiness, tight shoulders, neck and jaw and sore liver... but it is not the first hour reactions I am talking about now; it is the next few hours after that, and the day after reactions. My mouth goes on revolt! Pain in normally happy teeth, sorenesses, some little tiny swellings, sensitivities where there are normally none, even while eating wheatgrass twice a day the cooked food is just too big a burden for my body. Your body may be different, but this 50 year old body knows when it is being pawned off with white foods and sugar and it has a voice now and I gotta listen. I am smiling as I type this. It is not a smile of pleasure as much as one of respect; self respect, body respect. This human body is amazing and I am grateful beyond words that I am now in conversation with it, instead of drugging it with sugar, nicotine or caffeine to avoid the truth. My body and I are becoming a team... albeit a bit reluctant on my side. I do remember how much more comfortble I was last spring on low fat raw... and the contrast is sharp and painful. I want that back. I want that health. Raw equals less pain and more health and energy. Cooked food equals more pain, lost hours, lost days, fatigue beyond words and did I mention pain???

~ * * * ~

Saturday 2/10/07 I found inspiration in a video on YouTube - which connects to the website www.raw-licious.com. Now, there is some major inspiration and reminding of what raw can do. Bananas for breakfast. Banana/pear/spinach smoothie for meal number 2. More bananas later.

Sunday 2/11/07 I began doing sets of ten squats a couple days ago.. whenever I thought of it. Yesterday I boogied for forty minutes and for the first time in a long while felt like I could go on and on! I felt great afterwards, too. I even looked pretty good. I had bananas for breakfast again.

Wednesday 2/28/07 Today is the 83rd anniversary of my father's birth, and the day it so happens that I am returning to raw.
Food: 2 oranges, half a cup of coffee with milk, banana, grapefruit, 2 MC lemonades
Movement: 30 minute walk, 30 minute dance

Saturday 3/10/07 Never give up!! Here I am ready to rebuild my stamina and radiant health... I climbed hills with heavy fruit today for 45 minutes and then boogied for another 25 minutes. I saw Ricky Martin on Spanish TV and got inspired! Here is the new and latest version of my smile.. I am trying to get used to it! I had a huge blueberry/banana/celery smoothie today and lots of oranges.


Sunday 3/11/07 Man, this raw stuff does quick work. I feel so much better I am astonished. I had another huge smoothie made from bananas/strawberries/celery today. Along with the workouts from yesterday and a nice hilly walk today I am loving this boost in energy. I so missed this feeling good.

Thursday 3/15/07 Cooked food is making my life tough.. constipation is one horrible part of it. I began today with a big strawberry, banana smoothie. A good thing. I also was working with a passion this week, so food was more catch as catch can. I am going to the whole foods market in a little to get more sustaining raw food. Might make Alissa's raisin and walnut cake - so good without even icing. Might make guacamole. Might make a lot of things. Delicious things, easy things. Pesto!! Oyaz!! Pesto over tomatoes... nothing better!

Friday 3/16/07 Today I got blueberries, pineapple, papaya, basil, tomatoes, garlic and raw olive oil. And the weather here cannot be beat! Climbing hills with heavy food feels better than ever.

Sunday 3/18/07 I made pesto today and it was even better than I remembered. I also made a huge smoothie with bananas, celery, blueberries and a half an avocado. Delicious! I got in a good walk yesterday and today.


Monday 3/19/07 I really got jazzed from reading about a man who began this raw adventure three years ago... 30 days just turned into three years... it got me thinking of how much better I would feel having eaten raw for three years! I love that thought.... three years, five, ten years, fifteen, twenty, twenty five years as a rawbie!!! A 45 minute hike that drenched me with sweat began the day. I bought some apple juice and am thinking it is time for another liver flush this weekend. I will start taking the malic acid daily as well, to prepare. I bought some more fruit to be ready to just be raw again.

Wednesday 3/21/07 I danced for 35 minutes. As I worked I began to listen to the DVDs my friend, Sparkleplenty loaned me of Doug Graham lecturing 'Making Friends with Your Food' - so far it is proving to be incredibly succinct and valuable. Today I am making the decision and setting the date I go raw again.

Saturday 3/24/07 I have decided tomorrow is the day I go 100% low fat raw. I have been feeling this all week, the reluctance, the eagerness, the fear, the excitement... I am doing it and will journal it daily. I climbed California street on the way home, got a new headband and here I am all sweaty and feeling pretty terrific!


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